Don't Miss the Amazing Stuff

'Think of childhood experiences that left lasting impressions on you, either positive or negative. List five or ten and pick the one that wants to be written about. Set aside ten minutes to sit down and 'freewrite' about the experience."

As a child, I had many friends because I was in a homeschool group with a bunch of kids my age. The street I lived on was also full of kids. There was one older girl *Olivia who I considered my best friend the entire time I lived in my old house. She was three years older and I looked up to her like she was a god. She was in public school and I would wait at the bottom of the street for her school bus to come in the afternoon. She said the other kids on the bus thought I was her little sister, who wasn't olde enough to be in school yet. I used to go to the bus stop and pretend I was going to get on the bus and go to school. I wished I could because being homeschooled made me feel like I wasn't normal.

When Olivia and I played together, sometimes we played school. She was always the teacher, which was what I liked. She would give me play homework too and I ate up every minute of it. As we got older, she got busier and busier and I'm sure a friend who was three years younger wasn't her top priority. I got it into my head that she would play with me if I had something to give her, like candy. In other words I tried to bribe her. When this didn't work and she was still busy with homework, I got upset. I thought she didn't like me anymore. Then I moved. Two thousand miles away.

Suffice to say we didn't play together after that. We lost touch and I was completely broken up about it for awhile. I had thought she was my best friend and that she would always be there. It wasn't her fault at all though. I know from experience how incredibly hard it is to stay in touch once someone moves. That person just isn't a priority anymore because you don't see them and they're not on your mind. But when I was eleven I didn't understand that yet. I used to wish I would become a famous writer so that I could rub in her face what she would've had if she'd stayed friends with me. I'd be rich and famous and wouldn't share any of it with her. It's amazing what the brain comes up with to cope with an overload of feelings.

The next stage in getting over it was to become indifferent and bitter. I deleted her off of Facebook and did my best to forget. In my opinion, a friend should never walk away. But it happens. I've done it myself. Sadly, people grow apart and it's just not easy to stay friends. You have to make an effort. Now I'm over it. I have new friends and the lack of Olivia's friendship doesn't eat me up anymore. So I re-added her on Facebook. Turns out she's married now. It's amazing what you miss when you're too busy not being satisfied with what you have and all you do is wish for more. So the lesson is, be happy with what a person gives you. Any amount of friendship or love should be cherished. Don't always expect more. Be satisfied with the amazing love you have.