Belly like a Barrel

Prompt:

"Write a scene or a character description, letting yourself go wild with adjectives and adverbs. After you're done, trim the excess. You might be surprised by how much you like what's left."

The King was an old man with a belly as round as a barrel. When he moved from sitting to standing, several attendants would rush over. Two would take an arm and the third would spot the other two. After hard breathing and swearing, the King would be standing. Since it was such a hassle for him, he preferred to stay in one position when he had company. But the day Benedict and I visited to complain of his cruel tactics the King became so utterly incensed with our opinions that he attempted to stand all by himself. His face turned beat red and his breathing became rapid and ragged. His servants shuddered to help him but he waved them away vehemently.

Finally, he stood and looked up at Benedict with eyes the size of lima beans. Benedict towered over him. The King was so unattractive that I wondered how he had ever achieved his status as ruler over the kingdom. Kings could usually move about freely without help. But the what the King lacked in physical pros he made up for with his intense wealth and a sharp mind. His over zealous ego filled in any remaining holes and so the public didn't see him for what he truly was, an over-weight tyrant. The people of the kingdom knew their king as a prideful but caring man. That is they believed that until they had direct proof otherwise. Many believed that his soldiers acted without orders and that the King didn't know of their atrocities but in truth the horrendous acts were usually his idea.

Revision:

The King was an old man with a belly shaped like a barrel. When he moved from sitting to standing, several attendants would rush to his aid. Two would take an arm and the third would spot the other two. After hard breathing and swearing, the King would finally rise to a standing position. Since it was such a hassle for him, he preferred to stay in one position when he had company. But the day Benedict and I visited to complain of his cruel tactics the King became so utterly incensed with our opinions that he attempted to stand all by himself. His face turned beat red and his breathing turned ragged. His servants fidgeted in place with desire to help him but he waved them away vehemently.

Finally, he stood and arched his neck so he could look up at Benedict with eyes the size of lima beans. Benedict towered over him. The King was so unattractive that I wondered how he had ever achieved his status as ruler over the kingdom. Kings could usually move about freely without help. But the what the King lacked in physicality he made up for with his intense wealth and sharp mind. His over zealous ego filled in any remaining holes and so the public didn't see him for what he truly was, an over-weight tyrant. The people of the kingdom knew their king as a prideful but caring man. They believed that until they had direct proof otherwise. Many believed that his soldiers acted without orders and that the King didn't know of their atrocities but in truth the horrendous acts were usually his idea.

So uhm... I had a really hard time writing with too many adjectives. Or at least in my opinion the adjective level was good. So I didn't quite get this exercise. But I like what I wrote. :)

College!

Yesterday, I became a college student. I'm taking Mythology as a concurrent class at Rose State.

First my Mom and I met my Dad at Best Buy to go laptop shopping. Not because I'm in college but because my computer pretty much refuses to stay on for longer than five seconds. We got some lunch after, which I had to inhale and then rushed over to the college. I used a different staircase then I did when I found my classroom last week and got rather lost. I found my class by pure accident. And I was almost late. I was the last person to get there before the teacher did.
Since it was only the first day of class nothing major happened. We just went over the syllabus. But I like that we did that because all of the policies on late work etc. were very clear and fair at the beginning of class so that way the semester begins on a high note. As this is a college class, I already have a paper due but not for two weeks and it's not an incredibly hard topic either. Just a myth from a culture other than Greek or Roman. After writing the paper, I'll have to present it to the class at some point. But when I was at co-op we did stuff like that so it should be fine.

I'm still having trouble moving past the fact that there is college level homework waiting for me in my room. Talk about new. Especially for someone who is homeschooled. I don't have a lot of experience with a no tollerance on late homework policy. And I have a bit of a procrastination habit. S0 I'm hoping neither of those are probelms for me. If they end up being problems, at least I can hopefully fix them before I start college for real.

Now that I'm done worrying, I can be totally excited that I'm in college!! *whisper scream* At 16. It's funny to me that people have problems grasping that concept but I suppose I'm not grasping it a whole lot better. Anyways, that's all for now about college life! (And yes, I understand the concept of indenting a new paragraph but the tab buttton seems to have failed.)

"Hey! I can't be late!"

Weak verbs and modifiers:
took immeadiately
closed hard
ate very fast
moved along rapidly

"Experiemtning with Verbs
Using the list of weak verbs and modifiers on the left above, write a short scene. Now substitute the verbs for the weak ones. What happens in your scene?"

We moved along rapidly down the street, loooking into shop windows. After a small amount of time, Josh and I stopped in at a tiny cafe. We were still in a rush so we ate very fast. Josh didn't appreciate being hurried and so he picked a fight with me. After we argued heatedly for several minutes, he stormed out, closing the door hard behind him. I immeadiately took my stuff and followed after him, calling "Hey! It's my mother's funeral afterall! I can't be late."

Rewrite: We sped down the street, glancing into shop windows. After a small amount of time, Josh and I paused at a tiny cafe. We were still in a rush so we inhailed our food. Josh didn't appreciate being hurried and so he picked a fight with me. After we argued heatedly for several minutes he stormed out, slamming the door being him. I grabbed my stuff and chased after him, calling "Hey! It's my mother's funeral afterall! I can't be late."